Pocket Feminism
Pocket feminism is a concept I originally picked up from a button poetry artist Blythe Baird in her poem “Pocket-Sized Feminism”. Before I assert myself into the discussion of what it means to be intersectional and a loud and proud feminist, I must first provide an excerpt from this poem that has stuck with me ever since I first discovered it four years ago.
“These boys… I want to stand up, but if I do, what if someone takes my spot? I want to stand up, but if I do, what if everyone notices I’ve been sitting this whole time? I am ashamed of keeping my feminism in my pocket until it is convenient not to, like at poetry slams or women’s studies classes.”
My sophomore year of high school I was invited to Feminist club. It might have been because students heard of my anti-colonial defaces and my rage against the machine philosophies, or it could have been my gravitational pull towards anything that quaked the social quo. Although I and the people around me recognize that from a very early age I was ready to unravel revolution and spit at anyone who told me how to abide to the traditionalism of womanhood, if you asked me then if I considered myself a feminist I would probably have said no. I could blame my inherit internalized misogyny, or my suppressed dire need to be accepted in a community where women are constantly being told what to do, but I admit that I was turned off by the misconceptions of feminism that surfaced my family life and my school. Often, feminism is perceived as a man-eating conquest against the patriarchal society, and as much as I would love to be a part of whatever club that is, that is not the actual truth of feminism. That very first day I was put to shame from my answering of not considering myself a feminist, not by the students or the community, but by my self-reflective nature as I realized that being a feminist and an active participator in dismantling systems of oppression is pretty bad-ass.
I was fourteen when I realized that feminism is not the rage against men, but the rage against the predominately exploitive and oppressive society that enables room for stereotypes such as this. I realized that feminism was the battle and representation for minorities that included but were not limited to - women and that to be a feminist was not simply to defy the laws of sexism, but also to be a permanent learner and educator in defying all laws that classified gender, race and class distinctions. Feminism embodies intersectionality. It encompasses all social categories and to participate in it, it requires that the feminists eyes must never be shut.
So what is pocket feminism?
Pocket feminism is the concept of only using advocacy when it is “trendy” or convenient. For generations, the black community has been subjected to mass violence and brutality evoked by the police department and judicial system. For generations, there has been upheaval protesting the police and pleading for the re-evaluation of the police department and its candidates. The consequences of existing while black is detrimental and even fatal, and yet still, influencers are using the justified outrage against the death of Floyd and Bland to put on their “riot outfits” and create aesthetically appealing tik-toks. This example of “pocket feminism” is on a more entertainment-privy level. More commonly, we see pocket feminism in our everyday lives, discourse, and relationships. More than likely, every feminist has been a perpetrator of pocket feminism at some point in their lives, including me.
For example, in heterosexual relationships or even in friendships where the people next to us identify as cis or are just considered to be fundamentally “normal”, we tend to shy away from advocation and remain silent in the face of injustice - even when injustice appears in the form of rape jokes. Why do we normalize this kind of behavior? When we are out on the first date and the man on the other side of the table makes a snarky comment on how women earn less simply because their work ethic belongs in more domestic/at home situations, do we speak up and remind them that feminine roles were created by men in order to preserve their fragile masculinity? Or do we brush it off and just ignore the phone calls thereafter? When we are at a party hosted by someone not particularly close to us and the atmosphere reaps of misogyny and overly aggressive chads and brads, do we just ignore the comments and take it with a shot of tequila to numb the annoyance of our frat boy counterparts? Or even - when we are with someone who is close to us and who we have grown quite fond of, and we learn of their disapproval of gun control and anti-abortion antics, do we let “it slide” for the sake of a friendship?
In psychology, the Bystander Effect, is the concept that people are less likely to speak up against something if there are people present. This idea works in feminism too. Pocket feminism can appear a minimal act of the moment and perhaps its silence aids in retaining long time friendships or even surface level relationships, but it also allows for the continuation of micro-aggressive misogyny and it allows for other people to be more acceptive of sexist and/or racist behavior. When we are at the college function or the office work party, and we hear another homophobic slander, and we don’t speak up, we become a part of the problem. The silent contributer. Homophobia is a learned attitude that people die for and lose their families to. Even if we haven’t been personally affected by homophobia, by opening up the room to these jokes and behaviors, we nod to the acceptance that homophobia is just a subculture of life. What if Brad makes a joke on his despise of the queer community for “making everything gay” and normalizing same-sex relationships on television? Okay… no big deal, I’ll probably never see him again. But, what if Brad has a lesbian daughter? Does his disgust for the queer community effect her and her relationship to her sexual and gender identity? LGBTQ youth has a suicide attempt rate that is 3x higher than hetero-cis youth. Do homophobic dads who were never told that their jokes and behaviors are not actually funny and are harmful to queer communities, have anything to do with that?
Feminism is not just pulling out the advocacy card when it’s trendy. It is much bigger than the size of your pocket, and when it is hidden in your jeans and when it crawls back into the backs of your tongue, the weight of its silence is immeasurable. To be a feminist, is to be the one person who stands up, because to sit down in a room full of sexists is to contribute to the silent epidemic of behaviors like homophobia and racism.